I am present, or am I?

Presence

This past week while I was working on one of two original art pieces for a juried art show, I realized I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and became curious as to why. It's a pattern that has repeated itself over the years and feeling quite tired of it, I began to explore it's origin. After some thought, I realized that while my body was here in the present with my artwork, my attention was sitting on a future calendar date tapping its foot and yelling "Hurry up already! I'm waiting!"

Two of me. Or, more accurately, me, splitting myself in two: Half of me physically creating, the other half a week away worrying about the deadline. Thoughts of the future will always cause anxiety because they are as yet just thoughts. When I pulled myself back into this moment and focused my attention on what I was creating, I felt more whole, more centered, and the creation process was far more enjoyable. 

My artist friend Erika Mock included this on point quote in a recent email: "It may not look like much, not with all these other distractions, but we make things holy by the kind of attention we give them." Martin Shaw, Storyteller from Smoke Hole: Looking to the Wild in the Time of the Spyglass I agree completely.

If, when, I feel anxious in the future, I'll go searching for where I've planted my attention and will gently call it home to this now moment, where all of my creative power lies.