Monday, July 2, 2012

My Summer: redirected.

I am at my childhood home in Pennsylvania for what may be the rest of the summer. My mother broke her hip about a month ago and returned from the rehabilitation center a week ago last Friday. My parents, who live on 30 acres, have 2 horses, a dog and 4 cats, asked me to return home to help them as my mother continues her recovery. What does this mean for me? It means my fledgling plans in Duluth have been put on hold until September: my first summer in Duluth postponed until next summer in Duluth, my craft fair slot forfeited, radio station internship shelved, and Ageless Grace classes un-scheduled. It means I will be living far away from my husband and very attached feline, Haley, for longer than I have every been separated from them before. It means that my summer has been redirected from focusing on myself to focusing on my parents.

I could look at this experience as a burden. I could lament leaving my husband for an extended time and delaying everything I've started in my new home city. Instead, I've chosen to view this redirection as a blessed gift of time: Time to give back to my parents who have done so much for me throughout my life; Time to enjoy sharing their everyday lives without the frenetic excitement and inevitable exhaustion that large family gatherings induce over the holidays; and time to appreciate the gift inherent in shifting my focus from me to those I dearly love for longer than just a phone call.
 
When I return to Duluth in September, the days will be shorter and colder and darker. I will begin again, in a new season, to explore this rich city as Summer marches into Fall and to build relationships as I find my place in the Northwoods as a teacher and artist. Until then, I look forward to unwrapping this blessed and rich gift of time with my parents as I experience my redirected Summer with great gratitude.

6 comments:

  1. Nicely said and so loving of you, and hopefully you'll have a few chances to see your amazing nephew!! Karen

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  2. We will miss you, and we know this means the world to your Mom and Dad. A blessed experience, indeed! Duluth looks forward to your return. Love, P&H

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  3. Esther, will you please tell my best regards to your family, especially to your parents. Hope your mom will get better soon. Love, Manta

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  4. Thanks for such a grace-filled post.

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  5. Yes this is very wise of you! Sometimes all you need is a slight paradigm change to understand that your life is beautiful. I also think acceptance of how we feel is important, being honest with yourself about you feel and surrendering to those feelings. I've been exploring this idea of honesty and acceptance in by blog conscious indulgence.
    http://consciousindulgence.blogspot.com/

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  6. Camille, thank you for your comment! I enjoyed reading your blog. Honesty about how I feel and acceptance of my new-found circumstances are two things I need to cultivate daily as I find myself with too much to do, too little sleep, and a waning quantity of patience for any of it. I decided that self care if the only way to survive with any sanity - and a good sense of humor - two qualities I also continue to cultivate.

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