Okay, confession time. I have been avoiding this space like the plague . . . and all of you. I'm not proud of my cowardice, but I am, with this post, emerging from the dark in which I have been hiding these past few months back into the light of revelation and truth.
In my first post on 12/14/10, I asked all of you to "just show up", here, in this space, with the intent that your presence, alone, would keep me honest with myself and focused on my journey and I promised to do the same. This equation only works, however, if both parties actually participate. These past few months I have not held up my part of the bargain knowing that writing for all of you would require me to be accountable to me, as well. And, frankly, I have not been all that impressed with my behavior over these past few months.
I started this blog to help myself out of addiction to sugar. In April, I committed to no longer eating sugar, fruit included, and I have stuck by that commitment. However, nature does not enjoy a vacuum and when the sugar left, I replaced it quite handily with the next category of carbohydrates on what I call "the carbohydrate continuum", whole grain. Bingeing on rice and oats doesn't sound too, bad, right? Wrong. Bingeing is binging and carbohydrates turn into sugar in the body, so even though the effects of my binging were not as dramatic, the stress on my body, and my conscience, has remained.
Addiction feeds on darkness, silence, and stress and all the yoga, meditation, prayer, grounding techniques, chakra energy work, and breathing in the world, in my experience, can not replace the healing revelatory power that comes from sharing myself with others. And, so, this is me, emerging from the dark, whole, and willing to journey this day with you, by my side, knowing that together we can heal anything. Thank you for being here.
